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Hex. Hexhexhex. Hexity-hex-hex.

because we take "Wizardry is Fucking Funny" one step too far

Name:
Wizard Wank
Membership:
Moderated
Posting Access:
All Members
Spelling Shit Out

1. Do not link to or share content from the personal journal of a witch or wizard who is under the apparition age. Minors -- defined as anyone under the age of 17 -- can't get Wizardfen accounts and thus can't come play with us. If it isn't blindingly obvious they're minors from their userinfos or something, and you post it anyway, don't be surprised if you are asked to delete the post if/when it's revealed they're underage. Posts to communities are fair game. Unless they say in the post that they are underage. Or they make it self-evident (i.e. "I wuz flipping through my Standard Book of Spells Grade 1 when suddenly I totally wanked.") We assume you're all reasonably intelligent adults -- don't try to get technical and claim "Well, he never said outright that he's 14 and never been laid!" Don't make us snark you -- we won't be gentle. This rule applies to all witches and wizards who are under the apparition age, not just livejournal ones. Sorry, we forgot the rest of the internet existed when we wrote this up.

2. Do not skrewt people who show up on WW. We are here to laugh at them, not fight with them. This means that, while you may or may not choose to comment to them, we expect you to behave. In general, unless you were there before the item got wanked, or happen to already be a member of/friended with the location of the wank, stay out of it. And even if either of those are the case, don't come bragging to us about it -- we're here to mock, not get involved.

3. Do not link the subject of the wank to WW. This is part of our "what they don't know won't hurt them" policy. If someone has been wanked, it is simply not quidditch to draw their attention to it.

4. Do not skrewt or flood WW itself. Being a skrewt does not mean the person in the wank showing up and arguing with you. Being a skrewt means spamming other entries with totally unrelated topics, flooding any entry with dozens or hundreds of comments with no content or the same, repeated content, or generally being obnoxious deliberately.

5. Do NOT use non-work safe icons. This rule only applies to here. The other comms and your own journal are perfectly fine. NWS is defined by exposed genitalia and overtly sexual situations. Text will be ignored unless it is just a giant 'FUCK' or 'JUICY COCK' in big fonts. Or anything close to that. Little text is fine. Do not argue with us on this one, it will result in a warning.

6. Do not link to locked material. This one's hard to enforce (and a journal-related rule), since we're not here to be your nannies or police the internet to make sure the material started out unlocked. Or, you know, even really care. But it rarely ends well and can be kinda skeevy. And in a lot of cases, such as locked communities, it's just a pain for the other users. So try and make your wank start out available to the general public. If it's a community and freely joinable, then it's technically okay to repost (but rude to lazy w_w members.) Communities or forae with moderated membership, however, are a no-no. In other words, the general rule is don't cut-n-paste from anything that requires the approval of someone else (private journal owner, moderator, et cetera) to join. If it gets locked after being wanked, it's okay. Post text, screencaps, whatever. But if it starts out locked and inaccessible and stays locked, that's a big fucking no. Okay? Okay.

We'll remind you about the first one (hey, it's easy to miss). The second one gets a reminder if we're feeling generous and a bitchy comment if we're not. Rules 3-6 will get you a warning (maybe) and then a ban. As always, we reserve the right to use our own judgment. If you're unhappy with that judgment, you're more than welcome to send an owl to one of us and talk it over. You may even convince us.

We expect you to exercise common sense. Why don't we want you linking to journals of minors? Because they aren't allowed on our servers. Ergo, we don't want you linking to their websites, either. Obviously. We tell you our reasons for the rules so that you'll be able to extrapolate when you've stumbled across something not specifically forbidden but not a good idea anyway. If you're in doubt, ask.

We can't cover every contingency, but a good rule of thumb? if what you're doing here is what gets most people wanked if they do it elsewhere, prepare to suck it up and deal with people calling you a wanker. Capisce?

Mod Squad:
moddlymodderson
wizprophet
karkers
sosuli

If you have any concerns, please send an owl to one of the mods listed above.

As per The Ministry of Magic's disclosure of trivial information policy, here is a guide to community members beloved and unloved. We cannot assist in the locating of Azkaban escapees and other fugitives from justice; that would be up to our Auror members. We are not responsible for individual members' failures to disclose trivial details like their legal identities.


aberfifth — Aberforth Dumbledore
acciolinda
acridturpintine — Lisa Turpin
alwayspms — Cho Chang
animal_politica — Rufus Scrimgeour, MfM
aspires_to — Phyllida Spore
bagshot — Bathilda Bagshott
bellasbitch — Rodolphus Lestrange
bellerstricks — Bellatrix Lestrange
bigblackwand — Kingsley Shacklebolt
billyevans — Billy Evans
blueandblackfan — ?
bridge_um — Dolores Umbridge
caramelfudge — Cornelius Fudge, ex-MfM
carpetscarpet — Ali Bashir
castleforest — Augustus Rookwood
chasingwaffles — Katie Bell
cleverlyanthony — Anthony Goldstein
combage — Mariette Edgecombe
cookiekrum — Viktor Krum
cornered_beef — Michael Corner
crabb — Mr. Crabbe Sr.
decreevey — Dennis Creevey
deranged_gofer — Fred & George Weasley
dolohovia — Antonin Dolohov
dracoisyourking — Draco Malfoy
el_wizo
emericswitch — Emeric Switch
famalda — Mafalda Hopkirk
flourtcower — Fleur Delacour
furryhelix — ?
goblinsknuts — (Gringott's privacy act)
goyll — Mr. Goyle Sr.
grubbyplank — Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank
h0rcrux — "teh h0rcrux"
horntailmaster — Charlie Weasley
hotquiddtchgrl — Angelina Johnson
hufflepuff4life — Justin Finch-Fletchley
insectintegrity — Rita Skeeter
juggerjugger — Arsenius Jigger
karkers — Igor Karkaroff
kent_whistle — Kevin Entwhistle
knot_a_nott — Theodore Nott
lestrangling — Rabastan Lestrange
mac_nairs — Walden Macnair

malkinsrobes — Madam Malkin
marisue_potter — Maria Sue Hinkle
mgoshawk — Miranda Goshawk
mo_rag — Morag Macdougal
moddlymodderson
moodeye — Alastor Moody
mrborgin — Mr. Borgin
mrdavies — Roger Davies
mulciber_de — Mr. Mulciber
no_opinion — Padma Patil
no_u_dontknowme — (WPP)
ollivands — Mr. Ollivander
omgboywholived — (ought to enter WPP)
plugsplugsplugs — Arthur & Molly Weasley
polarkoff — Mr. Poliakoff
potter_mouth — HARRY POTTER
prefectlyernie — Ernie Macmillan
purebloodyay — Lucius Malfoy
putasockinit — Dobby the House Elf
reallyquiteevil — You-Know-Who
rosymerta — Madam Rosmerta
rpsishot — ?
rpsishotsfriend — ?
runsfrombets — Ludo Bagman
saint_ignatius — Percy Weasley
savethefurries — Lavender Brown
sharpenedpincer — ?
slytherinthingy — Blaise Zabini
snoodlehelp — Owner of Snoodle
sorchard — ?
sosuli — Su Li
terryclothrags — Terry Boot
thesexybill — Bill Weasley
tombar — Tom the barman
tonkster — Nymphadora Tonks
trimbletino — Mr. Q. Trimbletino
uber_sue — Natalia ?
ur_so_vane — Romilda Vane
vacuousbeefcake — Gilderoy Lockhart
waitingfortom — Ginny Weasley
wandsplasher — an RPG player journal
where_hagger — Grawp
wizprophet
youngersister — Gabrielle Delacour

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